You ever feel like you’re doing everything wrong? Ever sit and feel like the days are passing you by, the world is moving around you, it’s all just a blur. Just background noise and you’re not really part of it anymore.
I’ve been feeling like that for days, maybe even unknowingly for weeks. Perhaps months??
For years I’ve searched for something in my mind to just ‘click.’ That click that makes you sit back and think, yup, this is what I want my life to be about. I really thought blogging was my click. It has become an avenue of my life that is necessary for me to live, it defines me.
Or does it…??
The blog helped me focus on what I wanted, to dedicate my future goals to one thing that really made me happy, exploring the world. Discovering it’s beauty, learning new languages, new cultures. But at the same time the atrocities happening across the globe have begun to spurn this kind of anger and upset inside me as I just can’t understand why it doesn’t make others feel the same way.
Am I a hypocrite?
Do I really care as much as I say I care?
I can talk about it, get upset about it, but am I actually doing anything??
All these questions have been absolutely driving me crazy. I’ve been haunted by the words ‘well there’s not much we can do‘ which is all it seems people can say these days.
Is that true? Is there really nothing we can do?
In a state of complete uneasiness I couldn’t even look around my home on Saturday. All these luxuries I was surrounded by, made me feel quite ill. I made a decision to strip back. Wouldn’t be able to do it all at once, but in time I plan on getting there.
I made a start though. Flung open my wardrobe drawers and cleared a whole heap of stuff out. I’d already done this at the start of the year and even now just a few months later I managed to fill another two bin bags. Unnecessary excess. Gone.
I sat down and felt relief wash over me. One less thing on my mind. Little by little I hope to cull through our life of ‘excess’ and create a balance that works for both Mo and I.
I would say I’ll also start stripping down on makeup and other beauty based items that I use to create on overly glam version of myself – but I for sure don’t even know how to over glam myself so I think I’m pretty safe. I do use makeup, not all the time, but I do have it with me ready to slap on when I need to look ‘nice’ – I’m going to make an effort to try and rid myself of that crutch too once and for all (I’m not all that great at putting it on anyway!! LOL)
And what about my blog?
Has the blog become a life of excess?
I am forever grateful at how lucky I am that I’m able to take part in opportunities, meals out, trips away, blogging can open so many doors. I am conscious though that a lot of people believe that its fun and games all the time. They fail to realise how much work goes on behind the scenes. I’m sure every blogger out there gets frustrated with people assuming that there is minimal work involved in running your own website. I remember some time last year we had a travel linkup on travel blogger problems which was a fab topic choice as it laid bare a lot of facts readers perhaps would never have thought of.
A lot of assumptions get thrown around that I merely blog to blag myself free meals here and there (I must point out that a lot of what I do is paid for using my own dosh!) but in all seriousness I blog because I genuinely love writing. I always have. It’s a kind of personal therapy.
Should I feel bad about eating out every week?? Spending money on ‘fun’ when that money can go to better use?
Well I’ve thought a lot about this. And I think I need to simply try harder to find the right balance. At the end of the day, having fun with friends keeps me sane, helps me struggle through all the other drama so it would be daft to cut it all out. I work two jobs, write on here and volunteer once a week – so I think going out once or twice a week isn’t going to play too hard on my conscience.
However, I fully intend to make more of a an effort to look for events that are beneficial to society, such as charity escape room nights or the wonderful heart and parcel supper clubs – an excellent initiative that not only provides an evening of fine dining but you know the money you’ve paid goes towards a good cause. – If anyone knows of anything please drop me a message!!
There’s been a lot of talk recently though about the ‘faux’ reality of bloggers. Is it all smoke and mirrors? Are Instagram pics reflective of real life? Are filters and editing ruining experiences? Raising expectations only to result in disappointment.
Well I’ve fallen victim to a few of those ‘faux’ pics, but I can’t say much because I too use filters, I use editing – not much but at the end of the day I still use it.
I’ve decided from now on I will set my own photography guidelines – the only editing feature I will use in ANY instance – is brightness. Purely because I still want people to be able to see what I’m trying to show and a lot of places we go to have low lighting – for ambience of course. But I shall no longer be adjusting, sharpening, using any other tool that may be at my disposal (goes against a lot of my graphic design ways but hey ho).
I am also going to attempt a new approach… I’m going to try and limit the number of photos I take. Try and focus on fine-tuning my skills so just the one shot works. This might take a bit of practice, but I’m confident I will get there. A very talented photographer friend and I were having this discussion in Myanmar and she gave me a few tips on how to reduce the number of photos we take, so I’m going to give them a go, see what works and what doesn’t.
I just hate the idea that our lives have all become ones that are lived from behind a lens. As a traveller I’m a massive believer of ‘being’ in the moment. I don’t like how camera accessibility has taken a little bit of that away from us. It’s stealing our souls! And I’m saying that as a blogger.
A blogger friend recently embarked on a detox journey, part of which involved a digital one – you can read her story here. Now I don’t believe we need to completely get rid of our digital extensions… but I’m going to incorporate an element of detachment from my digital addiction just like Katya did.
Years ago I bought myself a book from Kikki K in Covent Garden and I’ve yet to crack it open, so this might be the perfect time to start working through.
Finally. what is my plan of action to deal with this…
Well I don’t know yet. I don’t even know where to start.
I’ll tell you what I won’t be doing. I will not be doing nothing.
It’s too easy for us all to think we’re too far away from it. My current volunteering project will be coming to an end in May so it’s the perfect opportunity for me to find a new outlet to help members of the community, my goal will be to find something centred around refugees. – If anyone based in Manchester knows of any agencies I can contact again, would appreciate a message.
And just like I’ve been doing all along, if I find an issue has affected me, you can pretty much guarantee I’ll be blogging about it. I really hope more bloggers start doing the same. Blogs have given us all a voice to communicate our feelings and to show a different side of the stories we see populating the news all day long.
I made a point in my disclaimer that I don’t like to write bad reviews but that doesn’t mean I want to shy away from the issues we face globally. I think the more of us that start to address or speak about these issues, the more awareness we can bring to them and maybe, just maybe, one day we will start to make some REAL changes with our words.
These girls are already doing it…
- Sabina at GirlvsGlobe recently changed her blog direction to focus on sustainable travel and becoming environmentally friendly
- Flora the Explorer is one of my favourite blogs around, she goes from place to place volunteering and shedding light on destinations some people don’t look twice at
- Charlie on travel is a super inspiring read on all things sustainable, even adopting just a few points can really make a difference.
And I’m sure many more are too, I just need to find them, be inspired and learn from them and then share, share, share!
Lets flip this digital age into actually being helpful and stop being so hurtful to our environment and the people within it.
That’s all for now. Thanks for reading and letting me offload. I can breathe yet another sigh of relief that I am hopefully moving in the right direction.
God bless xxx